Should you take him back after he cheats?
91Cheating Hurts, but if he/she is not a Compulsive cheater, you can move past this.
One of the most unpleasant things that can occur during a relationship is an infidelity. It is a total violation of the trust and devotion you invest daily in your partner. As a matter of fact, I have read polls that show that cheating is actually very common in relationships. It is depressing that this is true.
Let's take a further look on a couple of aspects of cheating. First we will take a glimpse into some possible signs that he/she may be a cheater. Then, we will assess why cheating may have occurred and if there is a way to move passed it. Yes, I said move passed it. All partners can cheat, but not all of them are compulsive cheaters.
Keep reading below...
Can you reform a cheater?
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Signs of Cheating
- The Cell Phone is most likely the number one line of communication between your partner and the other man/woman. You can simply do this test and the results will give you a hint about whether you may be getting cheated on. Ask your partner to borrow their cell phone. Check their reaction. If it is a passive one, then chances they aren't hiding anything. But, if they hesitate to let you borrow the phone, turn on your light bulb. They may just be hiding something more than you want to find out about in their messages. If so, do not confront them right away. Always know that you must have all your facts before you throw them on the table. You do not want to accuse someone of what may not be happening.
- You must go on a stake-out! Break your normal routine on a weekday. That is, If you work a regular 9 to 5. Call in sick one day without letting your partner know. Start off your day as if you were going to work, but, don't go to work. Instead, wait a while for your partner to expect that you are at work. Then, prepare yourself emotionally for what might be a disappointing discovery. Seek your partner. Show up at his routine spots. If he is supposed to be at work, but he is not, that is a sign that he is cheating. You may even take a drastic approach and follow him, but, if you are not ready for a potential heartbreak, try to keep away from this.
- Some things you may check to see if cheating is possible is his/her pockets or wallet. There may be a receipt for a dinner that you weren't invited to lingering around in the pair of jeans he/she left in the laundry hamper. Or, even worse, a receipt from a hotel may be in his wallet. Keep these items that you find in a hidden stash for later when you are going to confront him/her. If you don't find a thing, he/she may not be cheating, or may be very good at keeping secrets.
- How is your sex life? Has it disappeared into thin air? Has it gone into an inventive overdrive? If there are any drastic changes to your sex life, chances are there may be a problem. He/she may either be getting it from someone else and not wanting you anymore, or he/she may be practicing with you to work his/her "magic" on the other person.
- There are some other signs that you may want to look out for such as behavior. Is your partner someone that works in construction, but has recently been wearing cologne and nice clothing to work? Signs such as this can also be red alerts that cheating is occurring.
Can You Move Past an Infidelity? Assessing the truth about your partner.
If you ask anyone that has not been cheated on if they would stay with the cheating partner, their answer will most likely be "No" or "Hell No!". But, in reality, if you have never been cheated on, you wouldn't know what to do in that situation. That is why it is difficult for people that are going through problems with infidelity to seek advice from others, especially family and friends. They will all be urging you to leave the cheater. The only person that can make that decision is you.
Now, we must assess whether you should leave this cheater or not. Ask yourself a these few questions about your partner and write them down on a piece of paper:
- What was the reason for your partner's decision to cheat on you?
- Do you still love your partner?
- When you confronted your partner about "the incident", did he try to hide it or did he lie and lie and lie?
- Was there a total resolution between you, your partner, and the third person? By this I mean, did they break it off or are you unsure?
- Do you think that you can find it in yourself to forgive your partner?
- Is your partner regretful of his actions?
- Do you think that if you stay with your partner that you can absolutely leave this incident in the past and not bring it up ever again?
Now that you are finished, are you satisfied with your answers? Set up a pros and cons list that refers to whether its is better to stay in this relationship or to leave it in the past. Weigh out your options and then base your decision on all of the above.
Make sure that you are not one of those people that just gives up and moves on. Give your decision good thought. If your partner seems to be remorseful and is someone that is willing to work together to gain back the trust that was lost due to his/her actions, then it is worth giving a try. But, by all means, do not kill yourself trying only to find that you are being taken advantage and that your spouse keeps cheating and lying. You cannot tolerate breaches of trust over and over again. That is not healthy in any type of relationship.
One thing you must understand is that cheating better be a one time deal. If there was a problem within your relationship that drew on an infidelity, you have got to take the necessary steps to revamp your communication and squash it. Once that is done, you will find that everything will start to come together.
Now there is a total downside to this; If you do not see that things can be fixed, or your partner cheated on you with "no reason". Then, you may be in the wrong type of relationship and must definitely abandon ship! No one deserves to be cheated on just because their partner finds the opportunity to do so. That is lack of consideration on the partner's behalf and definite grounds for separation/break-up. Do not let a cheater make you think he can lie to you forever. Assess that you can be better on your own and that there are people out there that are honest partners and can cherish you for your worth.
Your Fresh Start Together-Leaving the Past Behind
Ok, so now that you have assessed that:
- Your partner cheated on you.
- He/She regrets it and is honestly trying to work together towards conflict resolution.
- The ties between your partner and the other person have been absolutely dissolved.
- You have both agreed to move on and not push this incident into each other's faces again.
- You both are committed to strengthening your communication as a couple and your trust in each other.
You are now ready to take the necessary steps to start fresh. There is no set of rules on how to do this, but it is great that you have chosen to give your relationship a good run. That is the first step. Now just find a way to bond together with each other and rekindle what you have lost. Do not forget that a relationship entitles communication and devotion. Do not quit if you still want to try to work things out because others think that you should.
Here is a scenario that you may want to try with your partner:
Go for a drive together to a location where you can be alone. Preferably go somewhere like the beach or park. Find a spot where you will not encounter any interruptions. Now, lay all the frustrations, concerns, and any unsettled business out in the open. Really talk things through with each other and come to an agreement on how things can be better. Decide on what problems need to be fixed and how. Once you have communicated every possible confliciting issue to each other and brainstormed your next steps to solving them, make a pact that once you leave the location you are at, that you will also be leaving the cheating baggage there. For example, if you went to the beach, once you are leaving, the problems are left at the beach to wash away in the ocean and not going to stay to plague you on your new life.
Remember that you have to make a promise to each other to never, ever bring back those old feelings once they are resolved. Always live in the now, because if you live in the past you will miss the present and regret your future.
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I agree with donh121. Having been the victim of infidelity for no good reason other than a craving, I was never able to trust again. The infidelity happened at the highest point in the relationship when we were planning to move in together. If it could happen then, when things were wonderful, then it could happen again if they weren't. I didn't find out until after he moved in. I was haunted constantly, and eventually the fear and distrust completely eroded my love. It was a tragedy. I have been permanently altered by the experience. I have never felt so lost in my life. Everyone knows the risk they are taking when they decide to cheat.
Good point. I am sorry to hear what you went through. No one deserves to be a victim to infidelity. I know first hand how bad it can be. I was cheated on in the worst way. But, I am a strong believer in second chances, but not third, fourth or fifth. Everyone's circumstance is soo different. Thank you for your comments. I appreciate the feedback.
I was aggressively pursued by my married boss. he had very strong proof his wife was cheating on him. I eventually feel for him now all of a sudden she is back in his life. what happens with 2 cheaters??
two cheaters? wow, if both of them know that each other is cheating and they keep on doing so, that sounds to me like they have come to an agreement to have an open relationship...that is very interesting.
I dont know what to do as after the second affair with the same woman I told my husband it was over so they stayed in there relationship for about five months then she cheated on him because he was helping me get a house so she hurt him big time,now since that and I still love him,he wants an has come back into my life and wants me to move back to our old home with him. What should I do as we have talked all the issues out and he wants to mend with me the problems of communications that he says sent him back to her? I want to but will I get this hurt out of my system and how do I garantee from him it wont happen again?
Lea, the only person that can tell you that it is ok to get back with him is yourself. Don't take anyone else's advise but your own in this situation, because no one has gone through the same instance as you are going through. Remember that in love there are no guarantees...you will not know for sure that he won't do it again.
If you try it again with him, just look for those signs and don't let yourself fall into the same trend again. This time vow to love smart with your heart in mind. I hope this helps!
I was recently involved with a man who told me that he was not as close as he had been with his partner of 15 years, whom I also know. I have a business relationship with them both.
After two months, she found out that he was seeing someone, was devastated and insisted he make a decision. Not surprisingly, with their history, he chose her...but told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me,but he needed time to work things out amicably with her.
For another month and a half, while we had less frequent contact, we were still in touch physically and by phone.
Then she found out specifically that it was me with whom he'd been involved, and a few days later when she and I spoke face-to-face in their office, I apologized to her for the hurt that I had unknowingly caused by taking him at his word.
I have been heartbroken for the last two months, and seeking closure from him. We were talking about a future together. He was the first to tell me he loved me--repeatedly--and lavished me with attention and some very generous gifts I never would have asked for or expected.
Much more important to me was the grwoing sense that I had found my companion at last.
After a month of silence, I went by his office one night to break the ice before I had to see them both a few days later. He started kissing and fondling me, and I found it very hard to tow a line he drew that I did not want to draw.
This happened a second time, and a third. I got better each time at holding the line, allowing less physical contact, but still they were not completely platonic visits.
The third time, she called while I was there, suspected that I was from the tone of his voice, and confronted him about it afterwards. He admitted to her that I had been there, and said I was delivering a letter to him--which I was. Apparently he made it sound to her that we were over and that I was not accepting that.
She reacted by trying to end our business contract. She asked me to call her, and explained that she did not want to feel like a patsy by paying me to be associated with the two of them--which I totally appreciated.
I did not want to hurt her more by telling her over the phone, if at all, about his continued amorous advances--to protect her, him, and myself from a "he said/she said" scenario. She and I talked for an hour and a half, and both of us learned we hadn't been getting complete information.
I told her I would like to meet with the two of them together, and that I still needed some time with him privately for my own healing.
We met the next evening--the three of us for about two hours, and he and I for another two.
It was awkward, but civilized. I did not drop the bomb on them, because he did not lie to her about me while I was there, but I did tell him in front of her that he had to behave in a manner worthy of her trust, and not burden me with the full responsibility for holding a line that wouldn't exist if it were up to me.
Privately, I interviewed him--literally asking questions from index cards and taking notes--to try to get my answers. She called, anxiously, before I could get them all, but I got enough to end the conversation that night and start processing my pain more effectively.
I felt terrible for her. No matter how honorably I may act from there on out, she had so much pain and loss of her own to get over to try to salvage their relationship, in which she thought she could relax and trust.
Meanwhile, we still do business with each other, and even if she were to cut off the ties officially, we would still be linked together in the community's mind, so there's no escaping each other.
And of course, there's no way she can be absolutely sure that I'm not still trying to contact him.
This article speaks so well to the core issue here. It's not about sexual activity, it's about who we say we are and the quality of our promises.
Their relationship wasn't what she thought it was. He wasn't who he said he was. And I--once attached--did not immediately, completely succeed in being who I have always claimed to be.
It is indeed hard to be happy while living with the dissonance between one's language and one's life.
Lil:
I appreciate your comment on this hub. I wrote this article with scenarios like yours in mind. I wanted to relay the issue that cheating is much more than physical and can be overcome if you can identify the true issues involved. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I wish you well in your voyage to finding true love.
If he/she cheats with you, they will cheat on you.
My boyfriend of a year cheated on me right before we went on a romantic get away....It was the height of our relationship and I really thought we were moving towards the next step....We are now trying to work things out but he still is secretive and keeps his phone locked...I just don't think I can ever trust him again....I love him but I am no longer in love with him....I just don't get why he had to ruin such a great thing......
About a year ago, I had a baby with a guy that I was only "friends" with. We were not "officially" a couple, but "friends with benefits"...Him and I at the time, did not love each other..but because I got pregnant with his child, I wanted to try to work something out, but he was not having it. So he left for another state for about a week, and had come back home. As the months passed, he decided he wanted to try and work something out with us, and being pregnant---emotions are whack, and you want love. So..we tried. It wasnt a perfect relationship, so we basically just left it as just friends..but i lived with him. Well while I lived with him, we still did "things"...because I was still hoping, he'd eventually love me like I loved him..At that time, I was letting him use my car to hang out with his friends or go out w/ them to go fishing..come to find out, he was meeting up with some girl..in my car. Well I moved back to my parents house after that...eventually they were over, then he wanted to work things out with me, he said his family was more important than some girl..well him and i were still on and off after her, because there were other issues w/ him drinking and such. Well here recently, I found out that he messed with a different girl behind my back, and when i comfronted him about it, he denied it, swore that ppl were lying on him...but I had proof. About 3 days after I left him, he finally admitted to cheating with the girl i accused him with...Anyway, we've been on and off for three years...and after everything he RECENTLY did, he is wanting to work things out with me.. I dont know what to do :( Help please! We have a child together and I love him with all that I have...but I dont know if I can take anymore of his lies...but I dont know if he is being sincere about his apology to me...How do i know if he is telling the truth?..
There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating if you are in a committed relationship, and any person who knowlingly strives to cheat with another persons spouse/partner deserves all that they get. How dare they carry on with someone they knowlingly is attached to another? Why cant these people get a man/woman who is not in a relationship with another? I dont accept excuses like 'we just happened to fall in love with each other' or 'we could not help the chemistry between us' or 'it wasnt my fault we wanted to be together' Yes, of course cheaters and the people they cheat with are lacking in morals when they know the person is already in a relationship with someone. I emphasise there is NO excuse for their behaviour. Find a partner who does not belong to anyone else, have the decency not to hurt the unknowing spouse/partner for selfish reasons.
I appreciated reading the comments above. One question remains from the man's point of view -- whom does he have to protect from the cheating lie? The one he doesn't want to lose, i.e., the familiar or marriage relationship, or the girlfriend? My new boyfriend of only 6 months recently had an accident and disappeared to another state. He did this just after a meeting where he spoke of our families and our future together. But I wasn't told of his decision. Then, about a month later, he confessed he had a second wife (after he had declared when we met he was divorced and explained what happened). Now, he's reconsidering. How can you forgive something like that...an intentional lie and expect to feel respected? I'd feel the same if I were married to him. I don't owe the woman and apology because I didn't know about her. Any man can commit adultery in his mind by desiring someone; the actual cheat is the acting out.
I have been in a relationship for 9 months now. The man I have been seeing is usually sweet and loving, tells me I'm beautiful and I am what he wants. When things are good I am the happiest I have ever been. But we have had some "issues". I discovered that one of his female friends he had a prior interest in. This has been a major problem for me in our relationship. They've both only admitted to being "just friends" and that they never dated. Whenever my bf and I would have a fight he would be quick to end it with me and he would delete me off of Facebook and re-add her. This happened about 4 times over the course of 9 months. We would eventually make up and he woud delete her and re-add me. Childish, I know. He would always reassure me that there was nothing going on with her and that he didn't want anyone else but me, ever. Recently, 2 days after my birthday I checked his phone when he was in the shower and there were texts to this girl stating that she was always in the back of his mind and did she see them having a future together. Now she is supposed to be dating someone else at this time as well. He had this girls number listed under a guys name "Jake", but I know her number, and knew it was her. Long story short, he claims he asked her that because I put the idea in his head that maybe there was something there and he was curious. He claims that he loves me more than anything and that he never wanted her. I feel so stupid, because I want to believe him, but my intuition is telling me he is a liar,liar,liar. Last night we were looking online for a movie to go see and I heard a buzzing like a cell phone text being received. It was only he and I in the room and I checked my phone and there was nothing on it. His cell phone was in the other room. I'm so paranoid about him that I really believe he is hiding a second cell phone. I questioned him about it because after I heard the buzzing, a short time later he said he had to run out to his car. That's when it hit me that maybe he had a second phone. He had bought something earlier that day and said he wanted to make sure he took the bag out of my car and put it in his car. I'm not buying it. I had told him before if I find out he is contacting this other girl again that I will be done and gone and he would never see or hear from me ever again. After I questioned him about the phone he told me I could go check his car. But he was so upset that I didn't trust him to allow me to check his car. I guess I am confused as to why a man would go to this much trouble to lie to me. He is the type that seems to not be able to be alone. I'm not sure if he is stringing me along until this girl decides to give him a shot or what. I'm 42 and he is 37. This all sounds very much like high school drama. I know, I'm embarrased that this is my story. I think I am finally at my wits end. He texted me a few times last night telling me "I want YOU...I wish you would get that." Am I over reacting? I'm so stressed out and nto sure what to do? Do I contact her and ask her about it? Or just be adult enough to say F you and walk away? This happened last night and he has not contacted me not once today so far. I will not contact him. He should be contacting me.
So my husband cheated on me and I didn't find out until I was pregnant with the twins. Come to find out the girl was 4 months further along than me with my husbands baby. We decided that we would work it out but I am about to explode! I don't want to be a step mom! Certainly not to a kid that is four months older than my twins and 14 months younger than our son. I get physically sick when I hear this kids voice. Is that wrong? I have decided to tell my husband tonight that I can't do it! I don't want to be mean but UUUGGHH! Now she just drops the kid off every chance she gets. WTH!
I was once in a complicated relationship with this guy who chose to be with me over his ex. However since then there were trust issues and i never really managed to trust him fully. We have a 1year old daughter and i just found out he cheated on me. We arent married yet and he said that was his reason becoz he was so frustrated that he wanted to be with me and his child so bad that it drove him mad to make wrong choices. I dont know if i should think of working things out or just moving on becoz everything just seems like a lie to me now. I dont know if he will hurt me again after we work this out
My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I am hurt and lost. I did not have to confront him, he told me about ithimself, and was cincerely apologetic. I do not know what to do. He said that our emotional distance drove him away, and while he was on a trip for 6 weeks, he met a person he connected with. He does not say he loves her, and says that he wants to work it out, and stay with me, but I do not know if I can trust him again, or love him same way. I was a strong believer that "once a cheater, is always a cheater", but it is really sad, when you know that a person who cheated on you is your soulmate. .
What can you do when love and attachment get in the way of reason. You feel hopeless and desperate because you think this is the only person you can really love. The only person you really want. And that you will hope and believe in change because letting go is too excruciating. I guess all you can really do is be as complete an individual that you can be, and hope for the best.
I fell in love with a guy who cheated on me at the beginning and end of our relationship. He broke up with me and came back months later saying that he made a mistake. I took him back because I did not know about the cheating. A month into dating again, he told me about the incidents after some provoking. I was crushed but I stayed. It has been a year and I still cannot trust him. He fooled me once before, how do I know he's not fooling me now? He is sweeter than anyone has ever been to me, and he has been more dedicated than ever before. But he is quite far from proposing and when we argue he distances himself. I feel that we are falling apart, but I would rather let it play out and fail than leave for no solid reason. I love him and I want to believe he has changed, but trust is a near impossibility. I almost need him to cheat on me again so I can have a good reason to leave and be free from this anxiety. I don't know what to believe anymore.
I agree once a cheater always a cheater look at the facts people always cheat a second time and you know it's true...
My husband has been cheating on me since we met. Recently, he went through some personal trauma and decided that he wanted to be a real family man, a better husband and father to our 2 children. I have tried very hard to forgive him and move past the multiple mistresses, the child he has with one of them, and the many times he disappeared and left me without rent money or a car while he was wooing other girls. But I'm beginning to think I just can't do it. He is a compulsive liar; he had a female friend who was not one of his "other" women, but he told me he had not spoken to her in years. Yesterday I ran into her and she knew more about his life than I did. It was humiliating. I do not want my son to grow up believing that it's ok to treat women like this, and I don't want my daughter to allow herself to be treated this way either.
3 years ago
My husband had an emotional affair with a woman in his office 6 months after we were married. She was a friend, broke up with her boyfriend, and turned to my husband for advice. I went away for the weekend, and he slept with her. I found out about the emotional affair and he led me to believe I figured it out before anything physical happened. 7 months later he was still having lunch with her, playing footsie under tables, still conversing at work. She finally left the state and moved 2000 miles away. I started feeling better, still believing nothing but a "too close for comfort" friendship took place. We moved on, and decided this year to start trying to have a baby. We haven't gotten pregnant yet, and almost 2 months ago I found out this entire time, 3 years, he never stopped talking to her. I found text messages and emails that are explicit in nature and he finally told me they had sex. I am back in the same place I was 3 years ago, and I am in limbo. I thought I had healed, and believed what he was telling me. Now, I have no idea what to do or how to do it. I can't move on because it seems like everything I tried to rebuild was on a pile of lies. I have sacrificed and he gave up nothing. I have paid the price for his sins. I want to believe he will change, put the past away, and move forward as a good, honest husband, but I just don't think it can happen. I thought 3 months ago that I had gotten through it. I was the success story, but now I know I am not. Where do I go from here?
You know what lady's we are some loving creaturers and want so much to be loved. I can vouch to the young lady who has a husband who has had outside children. I gave him up. That is a difficult thing to do. And for the record a cheater can only do what you allow him to do. Don't keep taking them back. Get over the hurt and move on. There is a good man out there. They are not all bad. I just broke it off with a guy in whom I cared deeply about. I caught him red handed, I treated the situation llke a mature lady and removed myself for the incident and went home. I will not tolerate it never again. I just can't except cheating ways. That is the only way they will know you mean business. If you keep taking them back after redondent behavior, they are going to continue to cheat on you. Love yourself that is more important than loving them. Yes if hurts, like hell but This to shall pass. Believe that.
ryt fiorst my fella cheated on me with a slag on crimbo eve when he was ment t be witr me fukin lier. o yer withthe girl tht i snogged but yet still he SHAGGED THE RAT but im still with him
My husband and I have been married for almost a year and now I am currently five months pregnant. I found out nearly a week ago he cheated four months before we were married and subsequently two months after we moved in together. Before we moved in together he and I spent several months communicating via email/messenger. He was serving in war during this time. He and I have been aqcuainted for more than twenty years as we grew up together and he was my first...not my first love but my first sexual partner. We talked about everything from hopes and dreams to sexual desires and preferences. Following his arrival home, my best friend in my whole life my mother passed away. To make a long story short I one day found topless photos of women in a phone he had given me. I confronted him about those and he gave me a lame excuse and said they belonged to the previous owner of the phone. I searched his computer...sure enough he lied...found the same photos in his computer. He left his phone home one afternoon and I found some more photos from a woman he claimed to be just friends with. I confronted he and her...he was to never contact her again. Following, I found many profiles nude and what have you. He claimed to have outrageous likes and dislikes he and I never discussed. After having been already committed to him before returning home from war I was devastated. I even found some secret photos of myself that I had sent to him while he was overseas that had been sent to one of his relatives. I know foolish of me. I feel because of our history I was completely too trusting and blind. Yet after having found all this out I decided to try. He deleted a lot of his contacts from his phone and from his chat messenger. So I thought well he's trying to make an effort. Keep in mind I had no idea about any of his profiles but three. Things were going really well for a couple of months until I became pregnant and we decided to get married...for reasons I thought at the time was right and I still loved him very much and believed he would become a better man than what he had been in the past. From what he said he wanted that too. After this about a month and a half we did really well. Until one day I found he had had webcam sex with a woman who he went to highschool with when he went out of town for five weeks to work. I had a conversation with her after discovering this and she said he lied to her about his feelings for me. Come to find out he sent a letter to another woman that was the same intimate letter he sent to a female friend of his when he was overseas. So after this point I'm feeling he lied to me about everything and I feel like I'm married to a complete stranger. Up until this point over a year and a half I've been right about everything. Now this past week I found out from the source he cheated on me two months after my mother passed away while we were living together. I confronted him about it and at first he tried to act like he always does...doesn't remember...don't know why...but then he confessed the affair. Our last big problem was four months ago when I found out he asked another woman an exgirlfriend to be exact for nude photos. His affair was with his exgirlfriends best friend. I asked him why he did it and he said his feelings for me at the time were only out of obligation to take care of me and that he tried to hide it because he wanted to forget the affair. The affair was over a year ago and I just found out about this past week. Here I am 4-5 months pregnant well 19 wks. to be exact having all these emotions to deal with when only a short 4 months ago he was texting his ex and asking for nude photos. He claims his feelings are sincere and that the pregnancy has changed him. I have expressed to him that this is not the kind of environment I want my children to grow up in and with a role model as himself for my 6.5 yr. old son. I feel betrayed by his lies when I have him the opportunity to confess his lies and anything else he had been hiding and all the while assuring him I would stand beside him and work through issues he was having. I don't understand any of this and I still don't know...I'm confused...angry...hurt...I made a commitment to him long before he came home and said the next relationship I got into I would give my all. Now I'm finding it harder than ever... I have lost respect for him as well as all of my trust. Still here giving him the benefit of the doubt...he's deleted more than 400% of his contacts and said he has fallen in love with me. I feel like I don't even know him but still believe in him...and my commitment I just can't walk out on. At this point I'm just tired really tired. I don't like being his momma and never wanted that to begin with. All that I've ever asked is for his honesty...so we'll see if we can go longer than four months without having problems. I feel we never had a strong foundation or any foundation for that matter and sure didn't know I was building it by myself. I'm just so hurt!!! I find myself lost... Is he sincere I feel I have to check up on him because he says he needs a wan that is hard on him.
from the pit of my stomach he had lied
he cheated on me before. he is going to move back in again and i want to know if he does it again. the only way to make him leave would be through the court system. we agreed to a "pre-nup". i need to write one out and i need to know of good cell phone spy tracking software to be positive of infidelities, because i do want to make this work between us but i dont want the heartache and he will not go voluntarily unless i can prove cheating and put it in the contract.
Jamulca try spybubble.com....good luck....if you have joint wireless accounts call the phone company for text records. Have them sent to anonymous address.
Sarahbeth I feel you...that's exactly what I told my husband! I do not want to expose my son to this kind of behavior in fear he learns to treat women this way. I don't want to teach our daughter it's ok to put up with this behavior. I mean seriously, how would the hubby feel if it were our daughter being treated this way by another man?!!! I feel like giving up on the relationship just because of those facts. But then again I don't want to feel like a failure in the the relationship. I just feel we never had a good start. I feel our husbands have a lot in common. His reaction was little different than all the times before... He knew he had been caught so he hadn't a choice but to confess. I feel the same as before and what's changed! I don't believe he's changed but I've decided not to give up yet.! I do believe people can change but cheating in my eyes is an addiction and addictions are very difficult to kick!
Jamulca try spybubble!!! Never tried personally... But you may want to seek legal council before hand...don't want to suggest something that could be against the law...especially if your lives together are independent more so than "joint".
My ex boyfriend & I were together for a little over 2 years..he was my bestfriend and we had an amazing relationship. He always liked partying and going out with friends and i didn't mind. I don't go out and party like he does and we do not live together. Problems started popping up when he would hash (running hike) every 2 weeks. Sometimes I would go with him and other times i wont as it requires a certain level of fitness to finish the hash. His long time friend started becoming a regular on the hash. She know him much longer than I do and spends a lot more time with him. She's also much older than both of us. He's 25, I'm 22 shes 29. A mutual friend of theirs invited them to a wedding and he never invited me but tells me he's going with her. They'r seen out so often a friend of theirs 'jokingly' comments on the pictures she has on her fb profile with the 2 of them.."u and ur man"..When I saw the pic and asked that it be removed he didnt see anything wronng with it.. because 'his friend was joking' a couple weeks after that (after many tearful nights for me) they went on another hash together he was upset with me and they both got drunk and he cheated on me. The thing is he came by me 2 days after to tell me that they kissed...it was such a huge shock that he would even cheat on me after I gave him his space and his leeway to live his life and still was always there for him. He repeatedly says how much he loves me and he's sorry n I caved and started back seeing him a week after. During this week we got back really close and last night he proceeds to tell me (after I picked up that something was bothering him.. he kept saying he doesnt deserve me) that it went further than just the kiss.. I'm all cried out from him initially telling me that he cheated and this time its like he cheated and he lied about it tho i asked on so many occasions whether that was all that happened..I'm exhausted and I have not a clue what to do. He came by my house again this morning to "talk" but I refuse to see him. I just don't know how long it will last.
Hello..I dnt know if i can call it cheating or not.. i am confused.but i have a boyfriend and its been one n half years with him..we are in long distance realtionship..in too mcuh communication..almost we keep talking throughout the day and if not possible, by the end of day we mail each other the whole things we did in the day and we love each other a lot..he was my senior at college too..but his nature is flirty from the begining i know him too but that time i had no issues since we both were friends for 3years but then after geeting into relationship, he flirted with his female friends and he puts it as innocent fun and doesnot have any bad intentions since all his friends know about me..but i personaly dnt like flirting either and that my boyfriend does it..i found him flirting in his facebook inbox..and we had a huge fight over it and he said he wont do it again..and aftr 6months again i found out from his inbox he still heavily flirts and he had given me his id/pwd too...i almost left him, and he cried on phone over 2 weeks and begged for me..he said, he was taking me for granted till this time that i m here to stay and wil never go anywhere and that he loves me only..this is just for fun that he talks and doesnt really mean anhything..but the fact tht i dinot like and he did that again..now he is just begging for one last chance..and he has stopped talkin to all of those girls, deletd them, and he is crying whenever i ask for breakup and says he realised how much i maatter to him when i left him actualy this time and that he doesnt want anyone except me..but..what do i do should i give him one last chance again???
Wow it seems like this is some kind of bad disease. One, of course, that none of us will really understand and there is no cure for. I am not so sure if it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone as it is really sad to hear about so many women in pain because of infidelity. I don't really have any really good advice except for don't listen to words of a man who has cheated, watch his actions! His actions will tell you a lot and only you can decide to continue the relationship or move on.
I was with a guy for 2 and half years with whom I worked with. He and his wife were separated, he had his own place and she eventually filed for divorce. Him and I became very close in this time. We had so much fun together, we loved each other very much. He eventually got into some legal problems and had to go to jail for 3 months. When i got out, I took him in and we lived together for 8 months...it was a horrible 8 months. Well his ex would never let him see his kids (rarely) because he lived with me. They weren't allowed to step foot in my apartment even if I wasnt there. She would not leave him alone. She even had a boyfriend! Anyway, the whole ex wife thing drove me crazy, he turned to drugs and I just couldnt take it anymore. The last month of our relationship, he wasnt coming home on the weekends, so I can only assume he was with her, but not certain. I have been there for him through so much. I loved him so much. I helped him with all his troubles. I even offered to put him through rehab because he was using meth. He blames me for using drugs. But honestly I know I'm not to blame...he had tons of legal and money problems and had to wear an anklet on his ankle for 6 months and because he always had to have a beer in his hand and he couldnt do so with the anklet on, he turned to drugs. Yes, sounds like a loser, I know. I try telling myself that every day. But I still love him. Anyway, I kicked him out eventually because I didnt want to enable his drug use and I wanted to play tough love (his mom encouraged me to ask him to leave so he can hit rock bottom and figure things out on his own). What does he do? He runs back to his ex wife!!! I am so sad. I was hoping he would get better and eventually we could work things out. He is scared of being alone and can't stand on his own feet...but now I feel like I'm the loser. But people tell me that I dodged a bullet and I deserve so much better. He has been so mean to me about the whole thing...we were texting one day and really getting into it, and he eventually said "we are both sitting here laughing at you". Well little does she know that he sent me a message two days prior saying "I love you so much. I'm sorry". I just don't know how to get past this! It hurts so bad and it's already been three months. Well he has his family again and now he can see his kids since I'm not in the picture. The funny thing is that she was the one who wanted the divorce and filed. Now I'm alone and he I assume is as happy as can be. I asked him how he can move on so quickly and he said "hate". I don't want him back because my life has been drama free for 3 months (for the most part). I just miss what we had before he went to jail. Oh well, I'm sure I will find another, but I really love him. I was told by many that she probably only took him back out of spite of me. She didnt like me because I guess I made it easier for him to move on after they split up...who knows. I guess they will always have a strange relationship because 7 years ago, they were separated again for 2 years and he was in a relationship then too but she just won't let him go even though she is the one to kick him out all the time. She will never let him be happy with somebody else. She is torturing her kids too...sure they are happy he is back home now, but c'mon, screwing with the kids heads. Anway, thanks to all who have read this.
The only thing to do with a cheater is to dump him. If you take him back, you will send the message that it is okay to cheat on you. A cheater never changes; he hides better. Have respect for you and do not be a doormat.
I cheated on my wife before we were married and after even left my wife for the 'mistress' and am planning to marry her - I don't know how to get out of it I owe her and her family more money than I can ever pay back but my true love is the woman whose heart is still broken I think she would take me back but I guess I got what I deserve - Young and more money but not the same feelings of love, happiness and contentment
go back to her
Cheatinqq Isent Riqhtt At All No Matter What Thaa Situation iss !
Thank you to everyone for adding your comments on my hub. I want to let everyone know that it does break my heart to hear soooo many women and men have been involved in infidelity and the amount of heartbreaks shared on this page is overwhelming. I wish I had an answer for everyone. All I can do is read and read on how intense some infidelities are and how terrible hearts can break. I am very sorry to all those who have been broken to the point of no return. No one deserves that pain. No ONE! To those cheaters that are repeat offenders and find pleasure in breaking the heart of the one that loves you the most...you have no respect from anyone on here...
need some opinion, my best friend's husband cheated w her sister. They were newly married for 2 month has been new for 5 moth total 6 months. She is having hard time to take he back or not because she is fighting with her emotion that she loved him very much and the fact that he told her so many times he loved. Most of the time he was not very open to her now he told her he regret what he did and want to get second chance. I am not sure if I can say yes or no!
So, here I sit at 52 years old, wondering what I will do next. A week ago today, my husband of 30 something years told me of an affair he had while I was pregnant 26 years ago. He had also had an affair two years before that.(This one I knew about.) Even though it was 26 years ago, my heart aches like it was 26 minutes ago or 26 days ago. I asked him to leave right away and have set up counselling for the two of us starting tomorrow. I am so hurt. He said that he would take a polygraph test to reassure me that there hasn't been anyone in the past 26 years. I never thought I would ever have to deal with this again. I am so confused on what to do. I am fine financially and can manage on my own but how do I stop loving this man. We have had a life based on lies? We have been together since we were teenagers and I am so hurt. Our grown children think we should give it a chance because the affair was so long ago. I'm not too sure though. I know that counselling will allow me to sort through my feelings but I feel so betrayed.
I too know what you are going through my husband of ten years I think is cheating. I found an email address that is not the one we have together, and we are the only people that use our computer at home. I pull it up and he is still logged on. I look through the emails and see he has been sending dirty emails to other women. And that he has singed up for Adult Friend Finder. I went on there and it looks like a porno sight. It is full of men and women looking sex. I don't know if he is working out some kind of sick fantasy sending these half naked women nasty emails or if he is actually hooking up with them. I still have not confronted him about it yet. I just don't know what to do. We have a son together and I don't want to hurt him.
So I came to the States from another country with my kids, to marry this man who was apparently everything I was looking for. After some months my sixth sense advised me that there was someone else. I asked him directly and he said no. A month later, I little paper with his password literally fell onto my hands, and I couldn't resist the curiosity to see if I was right. And yes, I was. After much investigation, because he is unable to talk about this situation, I found out that they have been talking for 2 years now, after he looked for her on facebook. She is someone he cheated on his first wife with. She got pregnant and had an abortion, but he never knew about this until now they reconnected. She is married and begs him all the time, since the very beginning. They have created this imaginary perfect situation, but don't see each other in person. He says he loves me and otherwise he wouldn't have brought me and my kids here. I have been strugling thinking what I should do. We just started our marriage, most of my friends say I should be patient as this is just a habit they have, but if he really loved her he would find the way to be with her...
My husband and I were best friends in high school for 5 years. Started seriously dating and moved in together. I got pregnant and we got married a month after she turned one. 6 months into our marriage, everything was great. We were trying for another baby, very intensely. He came home an hour and a half late from work with scratches on his back. He told me again and again he didn't know what happened. I finally got him to fess up and he admitted he had cheated with someone twice his age. Literally. He was 21. I was 20. She was 40. This happened on a Friday. I found out on Sunday. I got up Monday morning to file for divorce, only to find out I was pregnant. I took him back under the.circumstances. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and can't seem to move past it.
My concern: he had a few chances to just come home and ignore his urge. He had told me he went to her car just to tell her bye. Then he got into her car to tell her he was married bit she kissed him before he could say it. Then she drove him to some dark road he didn't even know where he was... I called him like every 10 seconds. I just don't understand why I was never important enough for him to tell her to just turn around.
We were not lacking sex, obviously since I'm pregnant. We had actually just had sex that morning. I was working 30+ hours at my job while he only worked weekends at night at the haunted house here in town...
I just don't really know it I should stay or go.
He's leaving for basic training in about 4 months. Sigh. Help?
I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months. 2 months after we met I got us both phones on my name which was dumb on my part and signed a 2 year contract because he needed a phone for work supposedly. I never suspected that he was cheating in anyway until I asked him to use his phone and he got mad, stating why couldn't I use mine.well my battery was dead! He started accusing me of checking his phone and said I was being like his ex and that he had nothing to hide. Finally one day I decide to take the phone and leave because he kept making comments still accusing when I wasn't doing anything wrong. Needless to say I took the phone we got in huge fight because he didn't want me to take the phone. When I got home I looked at emails Facebook and everything else I could find. Come to find out he had been talking to over 20 women off of Facebook texting them and calling them from his phone. The sad part is I talked to several of the women he had been meeting and just talking to and several of them didn't even care he was with someone. The sad part is we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone and the majority of the girls know each other. Of coarse I am back with him althoough I'm not sure why! He came crying back to me that I was the best thing that has happened to him and since has erased his Facebook account and email as far as I know. The sad part is we get or got along great love to do the same things and have 6 kids combined that are attached to both of us. The thing is I still can't get the pain and anger out of my heart but i am really trying! Does anyone have any advice for me or is it just a waste of my time trying!
Just found out last night that my partner cheated on me with 4 guys all at different times. This article describes my reaction to a tee, I'm still in shock. I still love him sooo much I considered him my soulmate. He is very remorsfal and has said he is sorry a thousand times and that he deserves everything that he gets but he doesn't want to lose me. I can confidently say that This has been the worst 24 hrs of my life. I want to give it another chance but how do I get over this?!?!
Background: we've been together for 4 turbulent years, got pregnant, had an abortion, I cheated on him with my ex once 2 years ago, tried to forget it ever happened, couldn't and told him about it last year. We fight a lot, and he has a bad tendency to be negative and critical(not for the first year or so though).
I just found out from one of my roommates("taken" dude) that my fella cheated on me with a chick I hate. I confronted him about it yesterday on the phone, he denied it. When I get home from work, I confronted him again, this time he admitted it. I asked why he lied before, he said it was just to buy him some tine, that he was going to tell me when I got home anyway, before I had confronted him on the phone. He tells me he hated it, that it was horrible, the worst misktake of his life. Since I had done the same, I understood. I had never again slept with someone other than my boyfriend, trying to sort out and make our relationship the best it could be. I was having difficulty with my task. I have intimacy issues, that eventually everybody leaves you. He feels like that issue was part of what he'd done. We're doing a 3 day trial to see if we want to continue dating.
A big problem is that the friend who told me he cheated was told in secrecy. He told me, my friend, that he told him, my boyfriend, that he dodged a bullet, that she miscarried.I asked my boyfriend about it
My husband left me for his mistress 2months ago. He came to visit the kids since then for two weeks he is 1400 miles away. when he was here he told me he loved her and she made him happy. He also doesnt have a job or money at this time she is supporting him and he owes her money.Btw I filed for divorce a week after we left. He told me he would move closer for the kids before may and if his mistress could transfer for work he would like her to come. Since he has been back with her the kids told me they never won't to meet her so I told him now he says he won't bring her. He never signed the divorce papers and is know saying he's in no rush since he is coming back he would like to see how things go with us. He told me his mistress knows he didn't sign but doesn't know he is leaving before may. Since he meet her online I can't believe anything he says. Part of my wants to go through with the divorce and another part of me doesn't and hope we work.. I sometimes feel like he is using me not to be alone. Please any advice would help. Everyone is telling me I'm crazy if I take him back and thinks I would be his second choice. Please help I need advice.
Since i last posted everything seems to be going good however our relationship is not the same since i found out he was cheating with several women! We used to joke and play always laughing we had a great relationship. Now it seems like all we do is argue he gets mad about everything. He keeps telling me to let his past go that he doesnt want to live like that anymore and it took me to make him want to change. The deal is he is good at hiding things and what he does i am afraid he his just hiding it better now that he knows im not as dumb as his little hoes. I really want to get over the heartache but it just wont go away everything reminds me of it! It doesnt help he like to listen to rap music about hoes,etc and it just makes me feel like he just likes it and always going to be that way and i am just wasting my time. However he has changed alot doesnt get on the internet much. Is it possible for a playa as bad as he is to change? The thing is it wasnt just one girl it was 20+ all within about 3 MONTHS. he cant say he doesnt get enouh sex from me cuz i think im just as bad as a man except i am faithful.
im with my partner for 12 years i found out he cheated on me 3 & 1/2 years ago but took him back. There is not a day would go past when I wouldnt think of what he had done & with her. I was pregnant with our 2nd child I suppose i couldnt see myself on my own with 2 children. I then found out that when I was pregnant with my 1st he had a sencond phone that he used to txt a different woman than the one he had an affair with & nearly ended up sleeping with her. The woman that he actually had an affair with this went on for a few months he worked full time during the day & would work pt night shifts at the weekend. I find out that he wasnt actually working he was staying with her & her kids. He bought her a birthday present from a jewellers & my birthday was a month before & i got nothing. Everything still seems as if it was yesterday I remmember every little thing all the lies & stuff. Well a few months ago I just had this gut feeling that something wasnt right & thought he was cheating again. So confronted him he said nothing was going on. My feelings towards him changed in which I love him but dont really love him if you know what i mean. I think it is just because we have been together for so long & have the kids and house but i am really not happy i still get very upset to think what he done on me and our relationship was fine we would never argue. He had everything I paid all bills, house, childcare & for all the childrens needs. I found out a week before xmas that he was txting some other girl so I got all phone bills & checked them to find out this has been going on nearly 2 years when I confronted him about it he swears nothing has ever happened & that it is just general conversations even tho he had her name saved under a fellas name. I have told him its over & we have not had sex since then however he swears that he loves me & its only me he wants but i cant help but feel that I am second best. I dont need him financially & would probably be better off on my own with the kids. However he sends me these messages saying that without me he has nothing to live for. I dont want to talk about the affairs as I get very very upset i have good days too but mainly Im living a life that I dont like & have feelings like why should I give it another go as it was him that has hurt me I have did nthing wrong so surely he should man up & say fine i'l let you go & move on. But I dont want him hurting.
Sorry to tell you, but most of your guys are lying and still contact these other women behind your back. How do I know? I am trying to break up with a guy I fell for, who is attached. Every time when I ahve taken the high road, he was the one to shamelessly seduce me again and contact me again. He lies to her. She knows he has cheated on her before and lied to her for years. I really don't get why she would take him back after this and then see that he is doing it again? I mean, perhaps this guy means something to them, but what about all the worries and stress from thinking he might be doing it again? I know for a fact this guy is a cheater and LOVES IT. I don't believe for a second he cares about her OR me. We even had sex with her on the phone and he loves it. She got sick and the minute she went away he called me, could not wait. I see the other side of him that he hides from her. In a way, he is more true and honest to me than to his wife. But the pain is mine cause she lives in that fairytale and I know how selfish he really is. So, please know that most of these guys WILL EASILY do it again. They are addicted to it and LOVE cheating. They make up plans to get away with it. Don't be naive.
Also, if you're the one with the income or who is paying the bills, that's your answer right there why your selfish guy wants to be with you. This guy who has been after me also depends on his wife financially. She thinks he loves her, but he has no heart. Just a d**k. I don't understand women like this... but then perhaps they are happier in their world of illusion than I am with the truth. Hmmm not really!
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It’s unbelievable how fortunate I feel after finding your email address. For the past 6 months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiance to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn’t know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called individuals who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful, affectionate and warm as Dr.Magbu has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested magbu most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiance and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery. dr.Magbu, I have no idea what I would have done without you being there to help me out.You can reach him if you are in this same situation. reunitingexspell@gmail.com, Nadia
Me and my husband were married for almiost 16 years. I've discovered that he and his high school girlfriend see each other and the love they felt was re kindled. After hearing the truth he wants to file a divorce saying that he does not love me anymore but keep saying that if he discovered that it was a mistake leaving me he wants assurance that I will still accept him. I told him to leave our house but he cannot do because he was not yet ready. The girl was not in the country maybe if she is here he can moved out easily. What kind of a man is this husband of mine. it was so traumatic. Not in my wildest dream that he can do this to me. He dropped me just that easy as if I am a trash now. I know that in time he will learn from his mistake and be back to me.
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I asked you to do a love spell for me back in February. And indeed it worked! You had told me that it could take up to 3 days in order to see results. I can confirm that me and my partner are back together and very happy! I would like to thank you for all your help. You were always there to answer each one of my MANY emails and to give me advice. What I like is that my partner didn't change his behaviour, he's exactly the same person, the love spell just helped him to rethink about what had happened between us. Thanks Ancientfathersandmothers@gmail.com
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My daughter was 6mos old when I met the man I am currently with. THings got really bad really quikcly and he ended up cheating on me, and did tell me about it. But then he couln't stop- while he says nothing happened with the other few women, I am not so sure. I found out we were pregnant about six months into our relationship and when i found out he was still doing things he shouldn't, I flipped. I ended up basically leaving the situation. This made his eyes open i guess and he ended up actually leaving me (sort of- like a break) and moving into his mothers. He's done alot in these past three weeks to change himself and show me that he's commited to this... but now he wants to move back in and I just dont know if Im ready... any advice?
My boyfriend broke up with me last week after two years relationship. We both are in high-school. He told me he no longer in love with me like the way he use to and just wanted us to be friends. I accepted his friendship in order to try and get him back i cried and pleaded for him to give me if i have done anything wrong but he refused. The day after he break up with me I told him that i will never give up on this one. So my friend told me about a temple called obolospelltemple@gmail.com this temple helped me to get him back to me and now we are together. All thanks to obolospelltemple@gmail.com i am Jenny
What's with all the spam?
Anyway, it's wonderful to know that I am not alone in my questions and that other women have dealt (gracefully) with worse. My situation: We are both 19, in a relationship of 3 years and plan on getting married. A year prior we foolishly moved out and tried making a life on our own; long story short, he quit his job, ate up my money, AND I found an email he had sent his ex--they cheated while we were together. Given, the email (actually it was a Facebook message, how classy) explained he no longer had feelings for her and felt that what they did was wrong; I was utterly shocked (shouldn't have been) that he cheated on me, though, and without admitting that I found this email (it was sitting on his desktop, he doesn't let me on his comp but I used it for gaming), I got him to 'fess he cheated.
Problem: he lied. This guy cheated more than once, told me he had cheated once, and expected life to move on as usual. It was through talking to his ex when I tried to rekindle our friendship and my sanity (very paranoid at this point of fiancee) that I found out they had a more "ongoing" relationship. His ex was very immature, a party-girl type and a couple years younger than us, and he had ex girl believing I seduced him when THEY were together.
ANYWAY I was ready to leave him, but he insisted he only wanted me and wanted a future with me, and that nothing of the sort would happen again. He was crying in my lap like a child as he professed these things to me--it seemed too cruel of me to dump him in that state, and frankly, he might've hurt himself if I had, and it wasn't like he was a serial cheater...this was his ex whom he may have had feelings for still, a fact that hurt, but a fact I empathized with. So I made terms of re-engagement (lol) that were very, very simple: Do NOT contact your ex again. He readily agreed; deleted his whole Facebook account, deleted his old email address, got rid of his cell, and when I moved back in with my family, he came with and is helping them out.
A problem, however; I recently took a week long trip to see my grandparents before I go to basic training, because basic is 2 months and my A-training is 2 years in California, and I won't be seeing my family for a long time. When I came back, fiancee had broken the one rule: he had emailed his ex.
He even told me what he had said, and I know this is honest...he told her he still had sexual feelings for her, but that he mustn't contact her again because he loved me. WTF right? Why even talk to her dumb ass in the first place? !!BIG PROBLEMS!!: he told her where he worked, she has his new email and she fucking lives in a neighboring town to ours. And he had contacted her when I was gone for *not even* a week--what about 2 months?! Or if he decides not to come with me to Cali, 2 years?!
It was a repeat of the last situation when I threatened to leave; a panic attack, crying in my lap, saying without me he had no future and many other sweetly desperate things (ladies know that feeling, as sadistic as it is to enjoy it), and then seeming so grateful and becoming so suddenly kind when I told him I would "believe" him (he kept asking me to believe him, wtf) and give him a second chance.
But ladies, as much as he's a part of my big plans, his role isn't as necessary to me as my role is to him, and I'm wondering if I will want to deal with future pain when I'm under the stress of A-training in the military (I'm thinking NO). I don't want to hurt him, so I'll probably just take off and never speak to him again...it seems immature, but frankly, idc and I just want to move on with my life.
I hope the rest of you are having happy lives right now, and thank you for sharing your wisdom with a teenager like me who's dealing with this!!
I Just found out that my bf slept with 3 other women besides me on a span of 4 weeks. He has been talking about marriage, children and s future. He had a secret phone with a different number. I called and spoke to each of the women. He wanted to be exclusive with them. I feel devastated. He has had a problem with women cheating on him in the past and has been married 3 times. I showed him this article and he says he wants to change. I will give him a 2 nd chance, but no more.
I am so sorry for doubting you. I should have know, you possess true powers when you accepted my case. I am now a believer of what you do and that there are powers we normal humans can not understand. All thanks to obolospelltemple@gmail.com for bringing my husband back to me!
Julie
It’s unbelievable how fortunate I feel after finding your website. For the past 6 months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiancé to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn’t know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called individuals who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful, affectionate and warm as Dr. Ogun has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested Dr. Ogun's most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiancé and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery. Dr. Ogun, I have no idea what I would have done without you being there to help me out. Work with him on this email address and you will get the best result: Templeofloveandmoney@gmail.com
With best regards, Whitney
its hard to lose someone you loved most and cheats on you. i had a boyfriend for more than 2 years, after 1 year 6months he cheated on me but i forgave him. after 3 4 months he has been texting girls in awkward hours, when i checked his call log in the system i found out that he has been texting and calling girls, everytime i call the numbers they are always girls. i asked him about it he just said that i was just forwarding the joke texts to them. so i was asking myself why he texts them till midnight and telling me that are just friends? No, i just knew that he is going to cheat on me or he was already cheating. i decided to give each other a break for a week maybe he will change but thats when he continued to text and call the other girls. i made a decision that its better to leave him because i do not deserve it. Another thing is he was not treating me a good manner, he used to shout at me in front of his friends or relatives so i felt so low. i ended the relationship but he tried for another chance but i met someone else who was willing to be with me, respect me and do everything for me than my ex. but i still love and miss my ex i dont know why i feel like time will come when i will stop feeling for him anymore
I cant believe that my husband could ever fall to his knees begging me to reunite with him after a huge fight with me all because of another woman other our marriage but this MAN spell caster whom i met online wiseindividualspell@gmail.com helped me out with all i have ever desire by bringing my husband back to me and now, the other woman has nothing to do
with my husband because of the spell power the spell caster cast. this all that happen he has told me before that it would occur and it did. am so happy seeing my husband crying in front of me begging for our reunion, hahahaha i am so so so happy..try the MAN spell caster out he is good.
Hey. Well I was once cheated by my bf. I broke up with him when I had felt a bit of doubt and hated him as much as I could. It was kinda difficult staying without him but as time passed by, it was becoming normal. But after about a month or so he comes back to me and regrets badly. I am kinda this girl who forgives quite fast. But this time I was strong. I dint at all listen to him for a long time. but atlast I fell for him again. I started loving him even more when I saw him regretting and wanting me so much. So now we are kinda back. But Im still not sure if he is still the same or has changed. Im kinda confused. Can u plz help me out? Can u let me know how am I supposed to understand if he is the same? And if yes then what should I do, now that I love him even more?
Hi Ashley
I see your confusion....and your need to be loved.
I think you should try to understand why He cheated in the first place, If you realy love and you are happy with the person you are with...and that person gives you everything why do you cheat? How much do you realy want to be with that person?Look inside yourself and dont be blind but all the attention He is giving you now.People don t change overnight it takes time ..Dont be afraid to talk to him...express your insicurity and try to work toghether.. see the reaction. You said yourself "you forgive quite fast" He probably knows that. Forgive means forgive and learn How to trust again .
before I answer, here is my story:
I am an Indian and I came to US as my gfs parents wanted a well settled groom preferrebly in a foreign land. B4 I came here, her parents were forcing her to get married. So right before I was supposed to come to US, I asked her to go for a secret court marriage, so that if her parents go all the way to force her, we can have a legal marriage proof. But she refused saying she cant go against her parents. I was shattered, but still came to US in hope. When i came here, being lonely and shattered i became friend with a girl, and yes, i cheated. Suddenly got to know she is coming to US also, and I was very happy. Within few days she came, I started feeling guilty and decided to tell her all. The girl from US told me not to, but also told me that she is in love with me. Now not only that I was confused, but actually mentally disturbed. Yet I told her, and then we all stayed together as a disruptive family for 3 years, with me actually mentally unstable. After 3 years, she got a job in another city and within few days from that I also got a job. before i moved to my new job, i went to meet her all alone, and we had a perfect weekend. Then within few weeks of me moving to new place, i came to know that she is going around with this old man. She once came to meet me, but had no remorse, even didnt tell me anything. I didnt say anything. Later after 7 months, we came to new jobs in same city. We all three stayed together again for couple of months, where both of them asked me to make a decision. I made a hard choice and chose my old girlfriend. But before that i asked her if she has something to tell me. She denied and thats when I confronted her about her relationship. I had to ask her 8-10 times asking her to tell me everything as i know it but wanted to hear it from her. She hid one thing or another everytime eventually agreeing at last time that they had a physical relationship. Yet I told her, lets forget all the things and start afresh, where she said she needs time as i forced her to tell her parents about our relationship of 8 years. she asked for a month saying her parents want us not to be in contact, for a month and then decide. Being mentally unstable, i still contacted her, and about 25 days in, she came to me and said she needs to complete 1 month and she still wanna marry me. But at the end of 1 month she called me and said NO. reasons, during our further conversations kept on changing, but basic being, she cant trust me, even though I was the one who told her everything. Now she is friends with the US girl, US girl still has a crush on me, and I still love my gf from india. So moral of the story is, the question whether u should take him back or not actually depends on you. cheating, if one time, usually occurs due to some circumstances and you need to understand those circumstances. But if you want to be stuck with one self-creative filthy image of ur partner with another one, you might lose something which could have been beautiful
my bf of two years cheated on me and i dont know if i should take him back i love him and he says he is sorry and will brake it off with the other girl but alli can think right now is revenge...because i trusted him and he wasnt man enough to tell me what he was doing and then tried to cover it up....i really dont know what the right thing to do is
@Confussed..
Girl, first he didnt had courage of telling you, there might be his side of story. But it was not circumstancial then there is no point. Circumstances can range from minor to very major, e.g. NPD, lack of freshness in your relationship, lack of space from you.. But if he is really sorry, ask him that you want to sit with that girl and he should talk to you in front of her. That will satisfy the female ego as well as show how serious he is. There is one point to consider from male prospective. We males, although dont show it, but get jealous easily from our girl's friends also. Letting me go without a conversation is not the solution coz lets face it, this is not end of life. you might get another person in your life, and might face the same again. Talk to him what made him cheat? Be ready to accept legitimate fault at your part also. When u will get another person, if this doesnt work out, you should know if u have any faults when it comes to relationships. But if he simply says I want freedom or it was just one time and denies rest of the things in front of the other girl, look at the girl's reactions. If she looks pissed, that means he is again lying just to get back to you. In that case, SCREW HIM.
My life is back!!! After 7 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted freemercytemple@yahoo.com for help to get my husband back and after I explained all my problem, he cast the Save My Marriage Spell for me. In just 1 week, my husband came back to us. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. Thank you Doctor messiah.
Long story short. Got married in our teens, divorced two years ago and now have three children together. Two boys and our girl and found out three days before our daughter was born, this other woman is pregnant and due two months after me, a girl also. We have had such a troubling relationship since the beginning due to untrust in him. I have known about the other woman for two years now but I believed they were "just friends," and she wanted more. She has told me so much about them and it honestly sounds like he has been telling each of us the exact thing. We were planning to fet married again this year but due to all this I called it off. He does choose me over her and just recently we talked about trying it again for what seems like 20th time. Can I really do this and believe him? He says he is not with her but I told him to leave once again, which also is his reason for the affair and says a baby was bound to happen. He works in the city where she lives and me and our children live in a different place two hours away. How can this ever work? He wants to be part of his other daughter's life and it kills me to think he'll be leaving us to visit a child. My world has turned upside down and I was hospitalized bc of this for an overdose, him as well. I know it's crazy. Just thinking about it makes me shake my head. I am so torn. Should I take him back again? There are a lot of unsaid factors and issues involved, this is the short story. Please any positive feedback is appreciated. Thank you.
My Name is Ms. path tom, I was married to my husband for 13 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2009 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to Dr.Magbu but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man Magbu is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address reunitingexspell@gmail.com
In Feb 2012 i found out my fiance of 7yrswas cheating on Me. he has said it only lasted a month and he had soon much guilt he couldnt go through with it anymore. at the time he was on antidedepressants and he says he was so high he felt none could touch him. he told me they just went on loads of dates and nothing else happened. 1month on he now tells me he slept with her?! it has brought up all the hurt again and i really don't no what to do. i do love him 7yrs of feelings debt just disappear. we have a 3 yr old son and i really don't no what to do. he said he had to tell me everything as now he is off the pills he is back down to earth and cannot lie to me anymore. my head is all over the place and i really don't want me son to be without his dad.he has not been secretive with his phone or computer which he used to be. should i take this as a good thing or is he trying to trick me? any help would be appreciated and their are so many people who just say leave him but its not that easy!thanks
My Name is Ms. path tom, I was married to my husband for 13 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2009 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to Dr.Magbu but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man Magbu is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address reunitingexspell@gmail.com
Don't know if this is still open but here goes
I just found out that my husband of twenty years had a baby by another woman. About five years ago my husband and I started having problems. For years it seems like his only interest in me was sexual and no matter how much of it he got it was never enough. We went on like this for years with him refusing to get counseling. Two years ago I got pregnant and when I told him he told me he did not want any part of me and the baby. He left the country for four months at which time I found out he was seeing someone else. when he returned I was eight months pregnant and he asked me for a divorce. I had the paperwork drawn up by a lawyer but he refused to sign it and asked me to try to make it work. It is now almost two years later and I found out that the woman he went away to see has a baby by him that he is happily supporting. I confronted him and he denied that the baby is his but I found receipts that he sent stuff to the woman for the baby.
I know I should leave him but it is such a hard decision to make since we have three children together. His mother knew about it and never told me but is now begging me to stay with him. He just walks around the house acting like its ok. He has not said anything about the baby to me instead he showed picture of her to our 13 year old daughter who in turn told me about it. It is very easy for people who are not in these situations to criticize you and tell you to leave but how do you just walk away?
Me and my boyfriend moved into together around October. I just found out in April that he had been cheating on me. The girl was actually in my college class and came up to me one random night and said she had been sleeping with him for six months!!! I was so devastated. If what she says is true then that means it was the whole time we lived together. He says different. He says it was when we were going through out rough patch in August and that he saw her all together around 2 months all together then they just stayed friends the whole time??? I don't believe this is true because if you had sex with her once he had to been doing it the whole time. He swears it was one time. But I think to myself it seemed our relationship was the best it had ever been. Did it just seem that way because he we getting it on the side plus has me at home? There were not really any major signs but I just had that feeling. How could he look at me everyday and be sleeping with another women? How could he touch me and be touching another woman? I just don't understand. He says she was easy to talk to and he was stressing about his financial situation. I did not know he was struggling paying the bills. I mean our sex life was great, so what did he need from her? He had also said she exaggerated when she told me because he tried to cut off all ties with her and she would not leave him alone. He said she would send multiple texts over an over and threated to tell me and he did not want her too because he did not want me to know. I did decide to give him a second chance because I love him dearly. He seems like he is trying very hard to make things better. I just can't get the images and thought of them out of my mind. I want to move one but I am afraid it will happen again and I won't find out till long down the road. People say cheating is in ones nature. I don't want to believe that but could it be in that nature? We have decided to move on with the relationship but how can I get the thoughts out of my mind?
Any advice?
Just to add we will be together 2 years in August. He talks about are future a whole lot now. I'm just afraid and confused. I know only myself can decide. And I have decided to be with him. I just would like some advise about ignoring the thoughts in my mind or moving past it so we can. I don't know how. Please help!!!
vudoospell@gmail.com has amazed me as I have seen results from everything he has done for me, often quite fast. While I have been to other spellcasters who I believe tried their best; vudoospell simply is the best, being truly gifted and done for me what i can never stop thanking him for. In addition, his integrity truly sets him apart in the field as he has told me several times I did not need a spell when he just as easily could have said I did. He is a truly kind and generous person who took time out on a weekend recently to help with a difficult ongoing case for me which brought him no personal gain. His work resulted in an all out miracle with a man I have been in love with for two years. vudoospell@gmail.com rocks!”
I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years I am madly in love with her she's gorgeous she would do anything for me. A while ago i made the biggest mistake of my like in was texting my friend about a girl who wanted to fuck me. The girl was fake i made her up to make me look like the man to my friends. In the text message it my friend told me i better fuck the shit out of her my reply was that i was going to. My girlfriend seen it in she saying i cheated becauseof the thought of fucking another girl. its only been 3 days in i miss her like crazy thats the only girl that i can see myself with! I don't know what to do I stood outside her house trying to talk for 3 hours, she ignores every phone call, every message I know I have messed up tryna show off I went to the bar with my friends in I see nobody somebody help me please!!!
Tunk,
No one has given me advice yet! I wrote three messages up from you. So if you can help that be great! And if I saw a text like that I would feel the same way as she did. But my advice is don't give up and prove to her it was nothing if that is really the case. If it isn't the case best thing is to let her go so she isn't hurt....
Do something really special for her and if she forgives you it will really take some time for her to trust you again. If there is no trust a relationship won't work. You have to do everything you can to show her your not wanting another girl and you are faithful to her. And communication is the main key!
My boyfriend and I have a amazing relationship. Well at least I thought we did things have been amazing since day one to me. It's as if ifound my soulmate. This month he has been acting strange like drinking very heavily and getting angry a lot. Concerned i approached him about it and he plain out said. We won't work and hes been thinking lately and wants to break up. I was devastated I begged him to give me another chance to make this work I would do anything to be with him. He than began to cry and proceeded to say he should be the one begging me because he CHEATED on me. We have a history together of him always wanting to be with me but I never gave him a chance I know I'm not the nicest person but I would never cheat now I see I love him and would do anything for him. He seems regretfully sorry and begs to be with me and for forgiveness I'm his dream girl in his words. But the problem is how can I stop replaying his infedelity in my head I love him and want to move past this I just want advice please someone help me!
I just found out my bf of 1 year and 3 months sheated on me wednesday.. He came to me the day after and told me: you better sit down. I sat down, and he said he had been drunk and sheated on me with another girl. I asked him if there was more than kissing and he said yes. They didn't have intercourse, but he fingered her and she jerked him Off. I'm so sad and confused, never saw it coming. And I need some advise! Do I forgive and give him another chance, or do I break up for good?
I have been with my boyfriend for 1/2 yrs now. But he never said he loves me. One day I can't stand this anymore, then I asked him why he doesn't say "I love you" to me ever? His answer is he doesn't feel he loves me. He tried and thought he can develop love for me, but it doesn't seem working. Later, he even told me he doesn't know what he wants from me and from our relationship. Altho I am a greatest person, he can't love me, and I can't force him to love me. But the more I am with him, the more I fall in love with him. Just he doesn't feel the same way-still stays in the same stage as the beginning-likes me. How can I make him love me? I need "love" from my boyfriend. If there's no "love" in a relationship, it's a dead relationship. I went online for online spell casters and i saw this temple ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com who helped me to make him love me and come back to me if not for the help of Dr Ijebu i would have single till to day all thanks to ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com I am Clark Tamara
My Name is Ms. path tom, I was married to my husband for 13 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2009 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to Dr.Magbu but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man Magbu is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address reunitingexspell@gmail.com
dohn121 Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago
I'm sorry to say that "once a cheater is always a cheater." Once the damage is done and your heart gets broken, it will never fully mend. For as long as you and your partner are together, there will always be doubt lingering at the back of your head wondering if he or she is being faithful to you while your home or away somewhere else. It isn't fair for anyone to live with such insecurity. The damage has invariably been done.